Two: A High Brow Experience

 Helen:

Naked-face is Jon's favourite pet name for me in the mornings... an ever subtle reminder that, without make-up, I look like I've just experienced a nuclear bomb blast at close range. Now I understand that blondes might naturally have pale eyebrows to match their Barnet. However, it seems senseless, if not downright cruel to a) grant a child the burden of red hair and then b) mismatch it with non-existent eyebrows that have to be dyed or drawn-in for their entire adult life.


And so life has continued like this into my early 30's...
"What item of make up wouldn't you leave the house without?" is often a question in trashy beauty magazines... following with the options of lipstick, mascara or eye-liner, which are somehow supposed to give some insight into your personality. I've often wondered what description would be linked to eyebrow pencil..? Bland comes to mind...

So when the gorgeous Jenna of Lovely Ormskirk pointed out that I could have that little bit of eyebrow normality in my life in the shape (boom boom!) of 4D brows - I jumped at the opportunity! And so it follows that you can now not only wax and tint your brows... but you can also give your eyebrows a fourth-dimension by adding on little fake hairs on to your own! In essence, for the girls, it's something like the semi-permanent lashes but just on your fod instead! The process, started with the usual 'sign-your-life-away' official forms, along with a yummy coffee to take the edge off the tedium. Then came the usual tint and wax to get the correct colour and shape before the magic started. With a cute finger ring filled with glue and two rows of perfect soldier-like individual brows stuck to a sheet on the back of her hand, Jenna spent the next hour meticulously adding hair after hair to my natural arches. I would describe it more as artistic engineering than a normal beauty treatment... I certainly wouldn't have the patience to do this so I was mightily impressed. The banter was brilliant as it always is in Lovely and as long as you are not too embarrassed at focussing your gaze on another girls tatas for an hour of your time then all-in-all it was a great experience. Basically, if you want to go from Tilda Swinton to Kim Kardashian brows in one fell swoop - I'd definitely recommend it! xxx

Sarah:

So, as for me, I have quite possibly the most unruly eyebrows ever. Quite the reverse of Helen's 'naked face' issue, my eyebrows have a bit of a life of their own. They are lush (I prefer 'lush' to 'bushy') and have a steely determination of their own.


I quite like using my brows - I have a bit of a plasticine face that I find deeply embarrassing to ever watch back on video, but I do like to express myself through... expressions. Basically, I give great brow. I can arch higher than McDonalds and would give those two cute kids doing the eyebrow dance on the Cadbury's advert a run for their money.

So, for me, the idea of having EXTRA added to my brows is laughable. What I was hoping for was, well, finesse, etiquette, a little subtle artistry to my brows to make them a bit more defined. A finishing school, if you will, for my facial caterpillars to flourish into butterflies.

The beauty experts at Lovely are  indeed utterly lovely. When you go in you instantly feel at home. And they gave me a delightful brow masterclass. Who knew there was actual science and maths principles that can help to construct a perfect brow shape? Normally, I just sort of fill my brow in a bit with a light brown pencil, then rub most of it off again to stop myself looking angry and like a dude. At Lovely they showed me how to work out the angles and lines of the brow that would flatter my face. It is all very mathematical... They gave me a bit of a lesson in how to work the angles out to get the best effect.

I do have to say, the brow that I left with was probably quite a lot darker and heavier than I'd go for. Having said that, I had no other makeup on so it did sort of stand out more than it would have if I'd had my full face on. I will absolutely be applying the lessons I was taught in brow management.

Fear factor: 2/10
Happiness quotient: 8/10
Value for money: 10/10 - for a non naked-face life - priceless!!!
Likelihood of repetition: 95% (hoping they'll stay on forever now)
Would be better if: we all had amazingly beautiful natural brows but this comes a close second!
Overall: 8/10

...And the consequence was: Helen had a huge stash of unused brow pencils in every handbag :)

One: Segway-To-Go!

Today is a huge day. The first of our 52 New Things adventures... oh yes. Nothing will stop us. We wanted to start with a hurrah. Some of the new things we have planned are less high voltage... line dancing, knitting... we thought we'd better save these until we'd at least proved ourselves a little adventurous in our quest for new experiences. 

So drum roll, please.... Today we did Segwayz. 

Segwaying is effectively an early doors introduction to motobility scooting. It is awesome. It thinks it is an extreme sport... you have to sign a death/injury/loss of limb waiver before you partake. there are hi viz jackets and hard hats. there's a lengthy introduction that builds it to the proportions of a silverstone race experience. actually what happened, once we'd got to grips with leaning and steering, we pottered mildly around a field doing a few skiddies on the grass and getting used to the very weird sensation of standing and moving with very little actual bodily movement. We did wonder if it is a good core strengthening activity. A bit like being on one of those body plate things at the gym, that give a juddering sensation, shake your fat around a bit but don't actually do anything other than remind you where your wobbly bits are. My wrists felt like they'd had a bit of a workout, and calves (due to the squatting/pooing stance) but other than that it's a proper lazy person's 'sport'. (A bit like darts? I would Love to Segway with a pint in one hand and a packet of porky scratchings in the other.)

As we steered ourselves leisurely back to the segway base we considered all the every day activities that would be instantly jazzed up by being on a segway. Favourites included the supermarket shop, going to the pub in heels and not wanting to walk that far, paint balling and shepherding. yes. I know the last two aren't that everyday, but hey. 

No one fell off (despite the build up from our instructor - him being actually one of the highlights of the experience... although he did tell us the same joke twice.) We were a bit disappointed that although it sold itself as a tour, there was no actual tour element to it. just sort of being let loose in a field to segway round and round like dogs on heat. It was, however, a great introduction.  

Fear factor: 4 (based on instructor's input)
Happiness quotient: 8/10
Value for money: 5/10
Likelihood of repetition: 65% (given a woodland setting and an actual tour)
Would be better if: There was a tour element to the tour. And if my Segway hadn't conked out half way through.
Overall: 7/10

...And the consequence was: Can't believe there is still a saloon pub in the leisure lakes?!